His hitlist: Bush, Oprah, Wal-Mart etc

WEST WARWICK, R.I. --A seventh-grader who wrote an essay saying his perfect day would involve doing violence to President Bush is being investigated by the Secret Service.

The unidentified boy from West Warwick turned in the essay on Tuesday, and his teacher alerted school officials. The assignment was to write about what he would do on a perfect day.

Thomas M. Powers, Secret Service resident agent in charge in Providence, said the investigation is ongoing but the essay may have been a "cry for help." Threatening the president is a felony, he said.

The one-page essay also said the student wanted to kill Oprah Winfrey, hurt executives at Coca-Cola and Wal-Mart and attack a Walgreens pharmacy, police and school officials told The Providence Journal.

***Walgreens?!?!?

I promise to love, honor and rob....

NASHUA, N.H. (AP) - When Beth Ortiz's husband refused to give her money, she arranged for two men to rob him in his bed, police said.

Beth Ortiz, 35, was arrested Jan. 27, along with Raymond Alleyne, 22, and Anthony Perkins, 20, all of Nashua. Ortiz was charged with conspiracy; Alleyne and Perkins were charged with burglary and Perkins was charged with simple assault, accused of punching Ortiz's husband, Valente Ortiz, in the head.

Police were searching for a third man who is wanted on a conspiracy charge.

***I know the feeling!! !

Cheerleader tossed due to Hooters!!!

An East Tennessee State University student says she was dismissed from the cheerleading squad because she works at a Hooters restaurant.

Freshman Kimberly Sams says she's 18 and should be allowed to work where she wants.

The owl-themed restaurants feature waitresses in snug athletic shirts and shorts. The company has a banner on its Web site reading, "Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined."

Sams says she was called into a locker room after practice and dismissed by squad coach Tammy Bartow about three weeks ago. Sams says Bartow told her the off-campus job was the reason.

Athletic director Dave Mullins wouldn't comment on Sams' dismissal, citing student privacy laws.

***Well you can work there, Kimberly. You just can't be a cheerleader!!!

The naked and the dead

NORTH BEND — A naked man, struck and killed on Interstate 90 just west of Snoqualmie Pass early today, was the owner of three McDonald's fast-food restaurant franchises in Ellensburg.

Brett T. Arnes, 35, of Ellensburg, was westbound on I-90 in a red pickup when the accident occurred, the Washington State Patrol said.

At about 4 a.m., the truck crossed the median and the eastbound lanes, coming to a stop when it struck a guardrail, the patrol said in a news release.

Arnes then apparently left the truck, took off his clothes and stood in the eastbound lanes — Lane 2 — where he was struck up a white pickup, Trooper Kelly Spangler said.

Spangler said no charges are pending against the driver of that vehicle, Erick Hanson, 60, of Wilkeson, who was on his way to work. Hanson was not injured, but was very upset by the accident, Spangler said.

Arnes had been a franchise-holder since 1996, said McDonald's spokeswoman Cheryl Lewis in Kirkland.

Spangler said investigators have no idea why Arnes removed his clothing. Temperatures at the pass hovered around freezing at daybreak, hours after the accident.

To add to the mystery, a dead dog was found near the truck. The dog's carcass straddled eastbound lanes 1-2, nearest the shoulder, Spangler said. Authorities do not know if the dog belonged to Arnes.

***Man, I feel bad for the driver of the truck. Can you imagine that?!?!

Have mercy?

Last Saturday night, David Erhardt walked into the restaurant where his father, Thomas, had worked to pick up a cheese-and-pepperoni pizza, presumably for himself and his ailing father.

"He was acting weird," said Mike Storm, owner of Kensington Avenue Pizzeria and Restaurant. "He was jittery and antsy. The pizza wasn't ready, and he said, "Where's my pizza? Where's my pizza?' He was real anxious to get out of here."

Co-workers were so concerned about Thomas Erhardt, their "Grampa," who was ill with cancer, that one wrote on the pizza box, "Get well, Grampa."

Two days later, the restaurant workers found out why David Erhardt had seemed so antsy.

Thomas Erhardt, a 57-year-old Vietnam veteran, had been beaten to death with a hammer on Jan. 8 - three weeks earlier.

Law enforcement officials now have a confession from David Erhardt, who claimed he acted out of concern for his ailing father after they had received an eviction notice for their Kensington Village apartment.

Fellow workers and regular patrons at the Kensington Avenue restaurant, where Thomas Erhardt had done some electrical work and odd jobs for four years, weren't buying that this was a merciful act.

"When you brutally kill your father [with a hammer], where's the mercy in that?"

Don't .... and drive!!

A man glancing at pornography while he was driving Friday on state Route 840 was arrested for allegedly forcing other motorists off the highway, a sheriff's deputy reported.

David Kennedy, 33, of Old Hickory was charged with felony reckless endangerment after motorist Deborah Dotson of Buckingham Drive obtained an arrest warrant against him Friday evening.

Dotson called the sheriff's office about 4:35 p.m. to report Kennedy was driving erratically on state Route 840 near Almaville Road in western Rutherford County.

Deputy Tony Hall reported Kennedy was allegedly looking at a pornographic magazine while driving, nearly running Dotson off the road several times.

She followed Kennedy to the Rutherford-Wilson County line where Hall stopped him.

***Dude, at least wait until you get home!!!

I'd like a Big Mac and for the guy in the backseat to move his head

A woman got a little more than what she ordered at a Bryan fast-food drive-through Saturday night.

While parked and waiting in line at McDonald's, she and her passengers - a 9-year-old and a 92-year-old - got an eyeful as a pornographic movie played on a TV screen inside the car in front of them.

Offended by the X-rated material, the woman scrawled the car's license plate number on her hand and drove to the nearby Bryan Police Department to file a complaint.

Minutes later, police were able to locate the offending maroon 1990 Buick LeSabre with a ceiling-mounted TV inside. The vehicle was occupied by three Bryan men, all of whom are brothers.

After identifying the movie inside the car's DVD player as pornographic, police gave the driver of the vehicle, Thomas Nicholas Godoy, 23, a citation for obscene display, a Class C misdemeanor. After running a check on the two passengers in the car, police then arrested Jose Godoy Jr., 24, who had three active warrants for failure to appear in court in College Station. He later was transported to College Station and remained in custody late Sunday.

***Porn- Gotta Have It!!!

Vampire gubernatorial candidate a wanted man!!

Self-described vampire and Minnesota gubernatorial candidate Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey has been arrested on Indiana charges of stalking and escape.

Sharkey is wanted in Indianapolis on the charges on which bond has been set at $100,000, the Princeton (Minn.) Union-Eagle reported.

Princeton police said their search discovered the May 2005 warrants that led to Sharkey's arrest Monday.

***Doggone it!

I did NOT put that there it must be his!!

Two people in Orange County, Fla., were arrested after an 18-month-old was found with marijuana in his diaper, according to a Local 6 News report. An Orange County sheriff's deputy pulled over Keith Hughes and Sharonda Hampton over the weekend. During a search of the vehicle, the officer noticed the smell of marijuana coming from the baby's diaper. The couple was arrested after the drugs were found in the diaper. The child is in the custody of his aunt, Local 6 News reported.

***You are supposed to POTTY in your pampers not carry POT!!!

Skier punches teen girl!!

STEAMBOAT SPRINGS - A 52-year-old man assaulted a teenage girl after a collision between the girl and the man's daughter, according to police.

Randal Berg of Littleton was arrested Sunday for the assault in which he reportedly punched the 16-year-old in the back and head.

The teenager told police she ran over Berg's 7-year-old daughter's skis with her snowboard and then the two fell to the ground. Berg saw his daughter on the ground and began attacking the snowboarder, according to Steamboat Springs Police Captain Joel Rae.

The snowboarder told police she was apologizing to the 7-year-old when Berg attacked her.

Police say Berg hit the girl repeatedly in the back of the head. The teen was wearing a helmet.

A group of witnesses intervened and separated Berg from the girl, police said. The witnesses also corroborated the girl's story, according to police.

***Dude needs a dose of his own medicine if you axe me!

Moose hangs ten.

A sharp rise in temperatures, along with heavy rain, has pried loose lots of ice along local lakes and rivers in north-central Norway the past few days. It's not clear whether the moose got caught on ice that suddenly became mobile, or whether he grabbed his chance for a wild ride down the Namsen River.

Whatever, Kjell Grannes happened to be watching the river and ice action from his kitchen window near Overhalla on Monday when the moose came surfing down the river.

Grannes told Trondheim newspaper Adresseavisen that the ice was clear, "so it almost looked like the moose was walking on water."

Grannes said he quickly drove to a bridge farther downstream, arriving in time to watch the large animal known as the "King of the Forest" fall into the water under the bridge.

"Fortunately, it managed to make it over to land, and looked like it was in good shape as it ran up the bank and towards a housing development," Grannes said.

***Hey Rocky, watch me shoot the curl!!!

Poodle Punted....

EDGEWATER, Md. -- Police are looking for a jogger who kicked a toy poodle so hard that it landed on the other side of the street, leaving it paralyzed. The 9-year-old, 4.5-pound poodle named Jacquelyn was at a veterinary hospital in Annapolis Friday, paralyzed from neck down. It is unclear if the paralysis is from structural damage or traumatic shock. Witnesses told Anne Arundel County police the jogger kicked the dog three times after it ran up to him barking and nipping at his heels just before 9 a.m. A tearful Janice Tippett, the poodle's owner, told The (Annapolis) Capital, "This guy is so bad. She did not deserve that. Neither me or her ever hurt anybody."

***My dogs, Casey & Riley, are really mad about this!!! The are forming a Bichon posse and are ready to roll!!

If all the old people in Florida weren't bad enough...

WEST PALM BEACH -- As if hurricanes, roaches, sea lice and insurance bills weren't bad enough, Floridians can add a new menace to their list of worries. Killer bees are here.

And they're going to change your life. After decades of hype and cheesy disaster movies, Africanized honeybees have established a foothold in Florida, bringing a hair-trigger temper that makes them a threat to farmworkers, landscapers, meter readers, firefighters and basically everyone who ventures outdoors.

In St. Lucie County, thousands of bees nesting below ground near water meters swarmed onto unlucky utility workers late last year, though not fatally. Separate attacks killed two dogs near Miami and Sarasota, along with a horse near LaBelle west of Lake Okeechobee.

Africanized bee colonies have turned up in ports throughout the state, including Fort Pierce and the Port of Palm Beach, and have been suspected at tourist attractions such as Busch Gardens and Downtown Disney. Nobody knows how to stop them.

***Ummmm, I am no genius but I think a good KILLING may stop them.

Roll out the barrel... of body parts

SYDNEY, Australia (CNN) -- A man and woman have been refused bail on murder charges, after two burning barrels containing human remains were found in bushland about 200 kilometers (125 miles) south of Sydney on the Australian east coast.

Volunteer firefighters made the gruesome discovery in a state forest near the town of Nowra on Sunday, following a telephone call to emergency services of a possible bushfire in the area.

But instead of a bushfire, they found two smoldering 44-gallon (166-liter) drums containing two bodies.

A missing couple's burned-out utility truck was found shortly afterwards parked near the Nowra naval base, about 10 kilometers (6 miles) from where the bodies were found.

***Yikes!!! Sounds like a Sopranos episode!! No, they would cut the bodies up and grind them on there. Yuck!!!

Virgin does in Spanish teacher.

LEXINGTON, Ky. - A school has decided that showing the R-rated movie “The 40 Year-Old Virgin” is not an appropriate high school Spanish lesson.

Fernando Del Pino was suspended with pay Tuesday for showing the movie to students at Lexington’s Tates Creek High School a day earlier, said Lisa Deffendall, spokeswoman for Fayette County Public Schools. He resigned Thursday.

Del Pino, who was hired in August, said he decided to show the film after a student brought it to class and said it “was very funny,” the Lexington Herald-Leader reported.

***I guess it wasn't so funny after all!!!